Dough
by FlyOnBree
Summary: It's Christmas, and Fang has a story! Contains definate OOC'ness and a lotta randomness! I wrote this sometime around Christmas last year with my friend. First Fanfic so please be nice! Suck at summeries...just to let ya know. : ONE-SHOT!


**Hello, fellow fanfictioners! **

**This is my first fanfic, so please be nice! I wrote this a while ago, around Christmas, and I saw a contest thingy for a Christmas writing thing, and it reminded me of this story So…yeah…**

**Iggy: Don't you have something to say?**

**Me: Whaa? Oh- right…but…I-I don't want to say it…it's too sad.**

**Iggy: Fine, I'll do it…Disclaimer: she doesn't own Maximum Ride, because if she did, Fang would have never left and Dylan would be dead by now. Also, she's obviously not a dude. She also doesn't own any other things mentioned in this story…except for Rick. She owns Rick.**

**Me:…the horror Oh! My friend Kay basically helped me write this whole thing. So most of it came from her.**

**And now behold the wonder of the Mexican Dough Boy and Mr. Hankey…**

*****WARNING: Definate OOC and randomness :D**

**Max POV**

"CHRIIIISTTTMAASSS!" Gazzy, Nudge, and Angel sang out as they ran around the house throwing tinsel and garland everywhere.

"Guys! Will you quit running around the house! And especially _quit_ throwing that stuff around! You threw it on me, like, five times!" I groaned.

"Max! C'mon! Get in the Christmas spirit!" Nudge chimed.

"Yeah, Max. Christmas spirit." Fang grinned at me, and I smacked him.

"You shut up, Mr. I Hate Colors." I replied, and he frowned.

"Well at least I believe in… the dough boy." He said seriously.

"What the heck, Fang? What's a 'dough boy'?" I asked him, completely lost on the subject.

Fang turned and whispered to Iggy, "Pshhh… she doesn't know who the dough boy is… that moron!"

"But I really don't! What the heck is it? Like, the Pillsbury guy?" I guessed.

"You got a lot to learn hunny," Fang began.

"What did you just call m-?"

"Shhh! Let the teaching begin!" Iggy called out.

"A long time ago, when I was a lad, my father once told me a story about the Mexican dough boy. He was like the Santa Claus of the century…"

I stared at Fang in awe. I thought, "He's never said that much in YEARS!" Then I snapped out of it and got very confused. "Fang, I've lived with you my whole life. You have never, once, had a father, except maybe Jeb…and you were never a lad. That was always Iggy. Iggy was a lad. Not you."

Iggy stood up quickly. "MAXIMUM! DON'T MAKE HIM ANY MORE DEPRESSED THAN HE ALREADY IS!"

"Oops, my bad."

Anyway, Fang continued. "As I was saying…. He was the Santa Claus of the century-I mean, decade of the 1980's. He was no match for Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo though-"

"Who the hell is Mr. Hankey? WHO ARE ALL THESE DEPRESSED, SAD, WEIRD FANTASY CHARACTERS? AND WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARD OF THEM?" I screamed in confusion.

"Max! Please! If you would quit _interrupting_, I would _tell_ you!" Fang said, getting annoyed. But, he continued. "Okay, before Max rudely interrupted, I was saying Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo is the Santa Claus of the decades 1930-1980, well, at least until, _the day_. Now, before you interrupt _again_, I suggest you take your panties out of a twist, and cool it."

Max slumped in her seat next to Fang, knowing that he had been correct, she _was_ going to interrupt again.

"_The day_ was when people were more depressed than the people who lived through The GREAT DEPRESSION! It was-"

"How do you know about the Great Depression?"

"My Great Grand-daddy, Grand-dad Thomas, lived through it."

"Fang! You don't have a Grand-dad Thomas! Sheesh, where do you come up with these things?"

Iggy came up to me, grabbed my underarms, and dragged me to the bathroom and gave me a lecture. "MAXIMUM RIDE! I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE FLOCK _LEADER_! YOU NEED TO CONTROL YOURSELF!" He shook me violently. "STOP INTERRUPTING OR I'LL PUT YOU TO YOUR _DEATH_!"

"You put me to my death, I rip your spine out and beat you with it!" **(Yay…who remembers that from the books? I do!)**

I slumped out of the bathroom and back onto the couch.

"Continue…" I said in sadness and despair, letting out an overly-dramatic sigh.

Iggy pranced out of the bathroom, happy as could be, like he just learned there was a magic lamp in his room and he could be granted three wishes. The first the one: being able to see.

"So…. I was saying… Everyone was settled down, and didn't know what to do with their pitiful lives. Most of the time they just sat down and read sad books like… Where the Red Fern Grows. Yes, I know I haven't read it yet, but I do intend on it if I go to college."

"What's…collage?" Gazzy asked.

"Whoa, Gazzy, when did you get here?"

"I live here, dipstick. What's collage?"

"Not collage, retard. _College._ It's where you learn more." Fang explained.

"You learn _after _you graduate from high school? Aw, man!" Gazzy whined, slumping back into his seat.

Absolutely out of _nowhere_, Dylan appeared and began to sing. "OH MAXIMUM, OH MAXIMUM, OH HOW I LOVE YOUR PERFUME!" (To the tune of Oh, Christmas Tree.)

"EVERYBODY NOW, SECOND VERSE! OH, MAX MY LOVE, OH, MAX MY LOVE, OH, HOW I LOVE YOUR BRANCHES! THIRD VERSE! OH, MAX MY LOVE, OH MAX MY LOVE, OH, HOW REPOPULATION WOULD SOOTH ME!" He sang. Awkward….

"OH MY GOD! GET OUT! NOW! UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET GOURMET SHIPPED TO AFRICA TO YOUR CREATOR! Pshhh…. That nerd…" I yelled.

Dylan looked at me, a hurt expression on his face, and did one of those girly "_uh!_" noises. "Pshhh, _fine_, Dylan, is. _Out._"

Fang looked fairly disturbed. "Yo, dude… stay away from _my_ girlfriend!"

"Your wha-!" I began. Before I could finish my sentence, Fang leaned in and kissed me. "Whoa…" was all I could think…

When he pulled away, Gazzy, Nudge, Angel, and Rick all stared in surprise.

"WHO THE HELL IS HE?" I said.

Gazzy, Nudge, and Angel turned towards Rick in confusion, and Rick looked the same way to see what they were staring at.

"What are we looking at guys?" Rick asked.

"Who are you…. Guy sitting next to me…. That suddenly just got there…."

"Me?"

"No… Kermit the frog… YES YOU!" Iggy said very annoyed.

"Oh, I'm Rick."

"And why are you here?" Gazzy pitched in.

"THAT WILL COME IN ANOTHER STORY, FOLKS!" **(A/N: Be on the lookout for a story Kay and I are planning to write called Rick's Adventures. It will be all about the events that led up to Rick being at the Flock's house.)**

"Continue your story Fang… I want to know the rest." Iggy commented.

"What story?" Fang asked confused.

"You know… The ridiculous one about Mr. Hankey, and the Mexican Dough Boy?" I reminded him.

Fang just stared at me in confusion. "Who's that?"

**Heheh…so, I thought that was a perfect ending :P This is only going to be a one-shot…but like it says up there, we figured it would be funny to give Rick a back-story…like, why he showed up there. So that WILL happen. When? I have no clue, but it WILL happen.**

**Iggy: We get it, now let the poor readers leave.**

**Me: Why are you still here?**

**Iggy: Because you locked me in a cage. I hate cages, you cruel, sick-minded fool.**

**Me: (rolls eyes) Just go. (lets him out)**

**Iggy: (Runs away) Best day ever!**

**Me: Review? I know it's not awesome, but it would make me happy :D MERRY CHRISTMAS IN SPRING!**


End file.
